Have you ever just felt extremely depressed? Like your not really really sure why you just feel like that.Ever just wake up and feel like all the wrong in the world is your fault,wishing you cud jump and take it all with you....Feeling like the one you love has only been hurt over and over because of you. Wishing that you cud jus make it all go away.Make all the pain disappear.When you kno their life was good till you came into the picture.That it has only messed them up by being with them. And it hurts cuz you kno its true but they cant see it.They just tell you they are sorry for it all,but what the fuck do they have to be sorry for!!!??? They where doing good till you came into their life.Why is it that i am always hurting those who love me those who wud give it all for me.??. I mean have you ever been able to look at sumone and kno they love you so much you cant do wrong in their eyes but you kno all your doing is hurting them even if they dnt want to see it. All your doing is causeing them pain and suffering.Has it ever gotten to the point where when you have to leave you almost hope they move on no matter how much you kno your goin to miss them as long as it is better for them.As long as they are goin to b better off without you.I hate these kinda days cuz i really want to just take that one little leap and go over the edge of no return.Hoping i take all the problems with my cold dead body.I hate these days cuz i like to inch closer and closer to deaths cold embrace. Just praying he takes you quick and silent.Just waiting to lay in bed with death.To be taken from it all,all the pain,suffering,misunderstandings,hatred, anger, lust,power,to just be taken in to the silence to spend eternity without all the saddness,and depression,the backstabbing,and not being able to even trust the ones you love.never knowing if the person you love will one day leave you,broken,hurt,sad, alone,oh god all alone.What a feeling,like no other,The feeling that no one cares,that no wants you,that you are never good enough,that no matter what you will never be good enough............ The feeling of coldness,saddness,depression,anger,hate,weakness, lonlyness...........God what a way to live...To have been hurt so many times your afraid to trust anyone,anything...Where even your lover has no idea how close you really are... When you wait for it to end.When every person you have ever trusted has stabbed you in the back,taken advantage of you,used you,and left you.Every person you have ever loved has turned on you,spit in your face,disowned you,thrown you out like nuthing,has one day jus.........stopped loving you....Just up and left you,left you all alone,by urself, to fend in this cold dark world by yourself.And when theyve gone they take all of you with them,they take your love,happiness,joy,peace,and above all your heart.Each time they leave more and more of you is gone.Til it gets to the point where you think your in love and you dnt even kno what that is anymore.When your so scared to give any of you to anyone else.becuase its the lil bit you have left and your so afraid of losing it....so scared that as soon as you give it to them they are goin to steal it and run and youll be a lifeless corpse....Just walkin the streets,but there is nothing left theyve all taken it.Theres nothing left but they all ask you why your not like them y ur not happy and cheerful.How can you b when your an empty shell???? I hate these days and no one even knos...I dnt want them to all they do is try and put u on drugs,drugs your addicted to,or tell you to talk to someone.I mean i dnt want to fuckin talk to sumone....Is it that big of a deal!!!!!?????Jus leave me alone...i will b fine.........or dead.which ever comes first. does it really matter???? no one cares,they wont even notice till the chores start piling up or the house gets messy or children arent being taken care of.Then maybe they might realise that im gone.But not til then,not til its too late..................... oh well i guess we will c wat happends.......I hate these kind of days.